Ok a little mouse story for you.
Saturday night, I was wondering why Mr. Wonderful was taking so long to come to bed. It was midnight, and frankly, I don’t like going to sleep without his hairy legs beside me.
I didn’t make that sound very appealing did I?
Anyway, I wandered out into the living room, in my nightgown and went in search of him. Tori was still up watching one of those train wreck shows.
You know, the ones that you are embarrassed to admit that you watch, but you just can’t seem to stop watching? And Mr. Wonderful was right there with her, both of them with their eyes glued on train wreck central…
Well, someone had to take charge. So I did what any good wife and mom would do.
I became engrossed too, the whole while hating myself.
So in the middle of our vegetative state, suddenly Mr. Wonderful says, “Listen!”.
So we listen.
Over by our wet-bar there was the sound of little toenails scratching at plastic chip bags.
Mr. Wonderful jumps up and runs to the wet-bar area where we have “the snack cupboard”. The snack cupboard houses potato chips, snack crackers, Little Debbie’s and Oreos along with any other thing that catches my eye when hungry at the grocery store. It’s the go-to when Conner has 5 teenage boys spend the night on the weekend and after that, it’s pretty much empty.
But tonight…there were chips in the cupboard, and they were rustling.
We have seen evidence of a mouse at our house, but we haven’t been able to catch one. We’ve tried it all – traps with peanut butter or dog food hot glued to them, sticky traps and poison, but we just haven’t been able to get the nasty little critter(s).
So anyway, Mr. Wonderful goes sneaking over to the snack cupboard.
Two questions come to mind.
#1 Exactly what did he think he was going to do if he found a mouse, bare-handed in his bathrobe?
And perhaps more importantly…
#2 Why on earth did I follow him?
I think question #2 was just brain-numb leftover from watching the train wreck show, (which was my first poor decision).
With one hand on the light, and one on the cupboard door, he flings open the door, snaps on the light and lo and behold!!
A mouse comes flying off the second shelf straight into his chest!
If that wasn’t horrifying enough, please remember I was standing nearby.
The terrified mouse practically vaults himself off Mr. Wonderful’s chest and, you guessed it…right at me.
You know that dream you have?
The one where you know something bad is coming your way and you can’t move fast enough? The one where you wake up sweating and say to yourself “It’s only a dream, it’s only a dream”?
This wasn’t a dream and that mouse hit the floor right next to my bare feet. He then skittered across both of my feet. The feet that I couldn’t get off the carpet fast enough. I felt the fuzzy fur of his body and the little claws of his feet go scampering right across my freshly pedicured toes.
And then I screamed.
And right as I was screaming, I remembered there were 3 teenage boys upstairs and I was still in my nightgown, and I’d just hollered loud enough to bring the whole block a-running. Still screaming, I ran into my bedroom for a robe.
And my mom (who was visiting for a week) came running out of her room. And Conner, followed closely by his friends who were spending the night, came downstairs wielding one of his ninja knives, cuz he thought we were being robbed or something.
And the mouse scurried off into the kitchen, vanishing from site and taking with him, the evidence of my embarrassment.
And the next day?
My dear mother-in-law and my sweet sister-in-law showed up on Easter Sunday with these.
They were thinking of me.
And that dad-blammed mouse is still on the loose!
PS. For your added enjoyment, watch the following video – sent to me by an old classmate of mine. My friends and family are mean I tell ya!